THE connection between affirmation and positive behaviour is well-known. In fact it can lead to reduction or perhaps even elimination of undesirable patterns of conduct because your child is more likely to weigh your thoughts on thorny issues if there is a constructive relationship between you and your child. The challenge to parents is to act to bring it about in the midst of the stresses and pressures of making a living to bring home the bacon. "Why can't you behave?" referring to the parent's expectations of right conduct. You would think that's the least your child could do since you work hard to give them a good home and provide their daily needs. This descent into a form of negativity prevents us from seeing new possibilities of resolving difficult situations argues Edwin Choy of the Centre for Fathering in this second part of a series on fathers as coach in a family.
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