The Tays' "little starfishes" with "great potential"

 

HIS wife Cindy compliments her husband, foster dad Christopher Tay as being like the Pied Piper in being able to engage children. 

“My husband Chris was the one who initiated fostering. There was a message in church about it and he took up the challenge. He felt that he needed to do something for the children who needed help. Chris is really fatherly. He loves kids and the kids love him too. He is like the Pied Piper who is able to get the attention of the kids and engage them. The
children take to Chris with much ease as he speaks their 'lingo'. There is a sense of confidence in him to be able to cope with all kinds of children."

 

Dependable and consistent

Cindy thinks he is a wonderful father to their own 24-year-old twin boys. "He is loving, caring and supportive. He shows his affection to them and disciplines them when necessary. He gives them a sense of security as they know he is dependable and consistent in his values.

 

Poem for their foster children

"Here’s a poem I wrote for my foster children. Six-year-old Meiyi* and 5-year-old Weiming* gave me the reason to write but my inspiration comes from Chris and my sons," says Cindy:

Wriggle Wriggle little stars
How I wonder who you are
Down on the ground so small and shy
Like a hidden jewel in the sand
Wriggle wriggle little stars
It’s no wonder who you are
I see in you the longing to be loved
I see in you the lustre waiting to shine
You are so beautiful
You are so brilliant
You will soon find back your shine.

Cindy Lim who is a senior education officer shares that their foster kids Meiyi and Weiming are like little starfishes they pick as they stroll along the seaside. "Each child has great potential. If we do nothing, it will all go to waste. The support of the whole family in doing this is really the inspiration,” she declares.

 

Family support is critical

Cindy and her businessman husband Christopher Tay have been foster parents to Meiyi and Weiming since March this year. Their sons Jonathan and David, undergraduates in New York, met the children when they came back for their summer break in June. Like father, like sons; the young men took to the children immediately. When seeing them happily
playing together one evening, the moment moved Cindy to pen the poem above. The little ones are now looking forward to their two gor-gor (big brothers) coming back for Christmas!

* The names of the children have been changed.

 

Reflection pointers for fathers

  • Our children will grow up, married and eventually becomes parents themselves. How we parent them now will determine what kind of parents they will become. Will they see child-caring and rearing as a ‘chore’ and a disturbance to their personal lives or will they enjoy caring, interacting with children?
  • There are weak and the disabled like children out there who are left to fend for themselves. When society ignores their needs it will be the beginning of the downfall of a community, because we have lost our humanity.

  

Action pointers for fathers

  • Have a celebratory slow dinner with your family. To make the dinner draw out for more than an hour, serve dinner by courses. Appetizer, soup, main dish, dessert. This will allow an extended time of interaction and joyous time of family togetherness.
  • During the dinner, have every family member say at least one or more things that they are thankful for this year.

  

Want to know more about fostering or how you can contribute to the cause?

Then call 6354 8799 or visit MCYS.


Other articles in "Fathering Matters"

Foster dad, Raymond Loh: 4 kids and counting...

Family rules - Part I and Part II

A challenge to motivate?

"That's NOT what I meant!"

"So few marks?" or "You made some progress..."

Grow your relationship with your child by volunteering

Marathon dad

Parent-child styles for learning and connecting

Connect using positive presuppositions