Family rules (Part I)

  • - A BOARD of directors ruin the lives of hundreds of employees while taking millions of dollars to the bank.
  • - A small group of religious zealots with box cutters murder hundreds of people and strike fear into millions more.

Such actions happen because a few individuals decide to disregard rules we live by and change them to profit their own needs at the time, or to follow only the ones that appealed to their own sense of right and wrong. These actions reinforce the importance of having and respecting rules to live by - these basically help to protect us from ourselves. In part one of a discussion on rules in the family context, the Centre for Fathering points to the rules extant in our families and to identify appropriate and inappropriate ones.

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A challenge to motivate?

centreforfathering/CFFthumbnail(1).jpgIT's that time of the year again when households are tense with sweat and late nights – the school and national examinations season. Children, from primary levels to the upper secondary, are in the throes of preparation and sitting for their papers. Or in some cases, their examinations (at least for this year) may be over. After a period of fun and relaxation, they should be looking ahead to revise the work studied in the just-concluded school year to prepare for the coming year. In all these activities, keeping motivated is a key consideration. Concerned parents could draw insights from this CFF writer's experience.

 

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"That's NOT what I meant!"

CFF_intentions_thumb.jpgA RECENT Reuters blog blamed miscommunication as having triggered the 2008 financial maelstrom that engulfed the globe. On a much smaller scale but no less important, can you recall one instance when a miscommunicated intention caused grave emotional discord on the domestic front? In our "Fathering Matters" column, the Centre for Fathering touches on this perennial issue in the context of parent-child interaction, and provides some action pointers to increase positive communication and enhance family emotional well-being.

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"So few marks?" or "You made some progress..."

YOU can look at a glass containing some water and say “it is half-empty” or “it is half-full”. "Half-empty" reflects a negative or pessimistic perspective of the object while "half-full" is a more positive interpretation. This is similar to looking at your child's results to say one of the following: "How come you only got so little marks and what are you going to do about it?" OR "I can see you have made some progress but it looks like some more effort is needed. Let's see what we can do together."

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