Two years back when our first born turned 13, we began struggling to connect with her. Increasingly, we found that we were not able to relate to her and that she was resisting us on many issues. She was just shutting us out of her world, preferring to stay at home rather than go out with the family if given a choice. She would rather spend time talking on the phone, on the MSN or Friendster with her friends than hanging out with her ‘boring’ family or parents.

Ah.. the seduction of immediate gratification. Hands up those of us (harried) parents who have not heard these 2 words from our little ones. How do we deal with this, without feeling like we are setting our kids up to be spoilt brats?

This is a question my wife and I face all the time. But wait. Let’s think out of the box… is there an opportunity to use this as a lesson for our children?

When my daughter was 3 years old, she suddenly developed a liking for ballet. We were not sure and decided to wait it out and see if she would persist in her requests. Persist she did. Over the next 6 months, we were to see a whole series of pitches. It was pretty much was an ad campaign!

Fast forward 6 months, and our 3 and half year old was still asking. At that point we decided that it was a “go” for ballet. That was when my wife had a brainwave… what about asking our little girl what she would give up that she could have her ballet lessons? We left that decision up to her.

A very short time later, she presented her proposals : She would not ask us to bring her to her favourite fast food joint, and she would not ask us to buy her any gifts / toys, except when it was for her birthday.

We were amazed. As promised, we went ahead and brought her to ballet. The result? She held her end of the bargain (almost all the time, anyway J)… and today, almost 4 and a half years later, she is still passionately into her ballet.

Amazing what our kids can do if we let them.

There are numerous approaches to teaching your children the importance of money and how to save.

I thought I heard wrongly when my hubby mentioned that my 13-year old son, Daryl wanted a Crumpler for a bag. Ok, am lost - what happened to Nike, Adidas or the like?

Then when I saw it (at the retail outlet), I was really baffled. It was not a backpack. I took a quick look around me and realised that most of the kids are now into messenger bags! “Crumpler is different. It’s water resistant and well designed. Also very durable,” so my son added.  And it cost at least $102 and more, depending on the model. The most popular amongst the students is the Western Lawn.

Two weeks later, I asked my 14 year-old niece what she would like for her birthday. “A messenger bag like Crumpler?” So, my son is definitely not alone! “Correction. Mum, your son is definitely alone! He is NOT one of the 70% with a Crumpler!” That’s from Daryl as he popped his head over my shoulder while I was working on this submission.

Indeed, we did not accede to his request (neither did my niece’s). How did we do it? We gave our son 2 choices:
   1. He could save up for the bag and we will subsidise 50% of the cost or;
   2. We fully bear the cost for a new bag and buy him a Crumpler-alternative at  only $40.

McDonalds, Serangoon Central Branch.  It was a little after 2pm on a school day and with more than 4 institutions within the 3km radius, it is no wonder that it is packed with parents and kids.  A mother with 2 sons were having their lunch.  

My son, Daryl has finally lost it. The once-upon-a-time melodious voice has given way to the coarse and deep with occasional squeals when he needed to raise his volume. It’s quite funny - imagine having to pitch your voice at least an octave higher and whenever you reached that impossible note, you cracked and add that to your daily conversations. We have been laughing and teasing him since. Actually, we are quite evil

Early this year, Desiree (my 10 year old) literally begged me to permit her to  take Netball as a CCA. I was hesitant initially given her intensive swimming lessons at the Chinese Swmming Club. Eventually, I agreed but on the condition that she does not neglect her studies. She kept to her side of the bargain. Unfortunately, she will be opting out of the sport end of this year. While I am pleased with the decision given the desire for her to focus on swimming, I am disturbed by the basis for the withdrawal. No, she is still interested in Netball.